Severide's impression
by tzswei
Summary: This is alternative universe, Kelly make himself look different and receive a lot of misunderstandings. It may propel motive headed towards him. Sweet revenge is no longer title of stranger's mind, it's getting bitter. Tara never make things easy. Renee is his first love he can't take down but his love department did not make it easy and give him with new distraction. Angts.
1. Author's note

**Author's note**

This story is now resubmitted online, I apologize for sudden removal earlier because I give serious thought what I type about, what I understanding is everyone is anticipating to read more because of suspense and cliffhanger and that wasn't reason I removed. Later the story will be continued, but it will be different edition, so I will do alone without beta but bear with me a moment I'll may not post faster depending on story clarity.

It will be the same prologue, to those readers you read right one thing is story set in the middle of the story, it will happen in next three months, but please don't rush me to write to there as I know you're dying of suspense, I also feel death of it I want to get to there but there's no fun if rushing time. But I was happy to finish it with obligation!

Last of all, I do not own characters, Matthew Casey, Kelly Severide, Boden, and Hermann, those are belong to Chicago Fire tv series production team and Dick Wolf respectively. I will not repeat this disclaimer again in each chapters, this acknowledgment will do and I can't emphasize much; I reserved disclaimer here for serious readers presenting of story I write here disclaim characters are not mine.

If you're skeptical to know whether will this story be deleted again, well you're right one thing that you show concerns, please support me all the way with encouragement as it will be like first fan fiction I write.

It means a lot, there are few stories remained intact in my profile, there are few people who was shocked here to see this fiction disappear and they weren't only victim, and one friend did step up replying to me giving me encouragement to write. This fiction will not be deleted. As I said, do give me reason to continue or volunteer to be my beta, I think it will make big change you can see this story grow.

Thank you for support! I've been writing poem and writing fiction is like every time I feel it's my first to write, but I already accustomed to writing I openly admit I was slightly nervous in first few chapters.

Chapters will be coming soon with other improvement as it coming to your fan fiction . net .

Your Sincerely,

tzswei/Rose


	2. Prologue

**A/N: **Second author's note to count! That was talkative. Acknowledgement says it all. A/N in chap 2 intended to make days funnier. Two chapters edited. For real!

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**Prologue**

Six hours ago, Severide thought he was in hell a moment he likely being trapped in his own world. Facing the moment, he thought he may lose other brother or best friend he has.

He watched it happening like he was looking future he has been sending premonition in his sleep. For a moment, he thought he felt like Casey watching Darden died, and it was enough for him he cherished Casey as his brother not as best friend. It console him earlier in past when he saved Casey from death, before he could plunge any further into hell hole, may consume him on ground.

Whatever happened to Casey, has leave Severide in great deal of distraught. But do not think Casey died, because he didn't, Severide had himself walloped in guilt as he put into Casey's shoes. He wondered, did the sky giving him test he has to go through.

Earlier, in past, he was happy over the moon as he had his left elbow recovered fully. With his new elbow he now facing his old friend who think he was jerk. Shay has stepped up, asking Eric lay it off. Later he strongly suspects Casey did not tell him anything about trouble he has. He heard his mother come patrol with him from Mills, who spread around of Casey's mother's existence.

It was two months ago he remembered, and afterwards all were blurred like his story turning into an episode he can't get out of. However the greatest news he heard in Firehouse was, Gabriella's brother was recovered, alive and kicking and claiming he can kick down the house with many energy he have. And it set off his mind at ease. On irony side Firehouse was suspected having drugs in possession and Boden became scapegoat, then Eric take his place by Boden's order.

Severide show no pleasure showing himself squirmed by the news and presence, but Eric make up for it after knowing truth of breakup between Renee and him. Later one time he hear Casey's mother hold his friend up over next trial as Casey supposed to take lead, when emergency was up. However it turned out the site which on fire was, that court they were in.

And it lead to Casey in hospital, the whole team looked tear stricken by news, if Casey wasn't woken up by a month, he will be in coma for few years. Now, Severide was sitting down on the nearest seat imagining he was hearing invisible clock ticking minute by minute, when doctors had best friend loaded into ICU.

"He had a bad concussion, he wasn't waking any time up to talk a minute." Doctor said gravely.

It send Casey's mother in hysterics, and self-reproach over trouble she giving to son.

"… I should have listen, why am I so stubborn… Casey," She was bawling, "Son please wake up and don't die…"

Gabriella and Shay gave her long hug which assuring her and her babble died away.

Shay led her away, and Gab was leave with Mills end up herself being hugging as she initiate and returning pat in return.

"He'll be fine," he assured, in weak voice he mustered.

Severide let other story unfold, as he nearly had his face covered with his hands.

And that was how the aftermath happened. His story moved on. Hallie did not take news well, which sending Gab looking stiff at her over awkward moment. Peter Mills knows she still has feelings for Casey Matthew. He choose not to say anything about it but he ask her to choose one day between him and lieutenant. And Severide accidentally eavesdrop in.

At times, Severide allowing in to visit Casey. Only to watch him hooked to monitors and machines he can't bear to watch even ignoring them.

"Casey, if you're listening… hang on."

He repeat many times, he is losing count on each visit. Everybody in firehouse knows he was distracted when he wasn't working. Boden giving his sympathy after giving Severide perk-me-up pep talk. He knows but miss Casey at work.

And one month passed. Severide and 'family' found the gang who holding responsible of the fire break out. They send gang to jail but they did not win, until Casey wake. A cop was suspected as mastermind, of fire out break, and Severide planning investigating. One day, the remaining best friend greeting by vivid blue eyes open, after taking a long sleep. Their brotherhood still remaining strong. But was that enough to take on the mastermind for life sentence in jail? They spend long together enough to know what will happen next expecting in life. Even that familiar cop returning the showdown is a must. They weren't alone. Will they win, the war of confrontation?

That question will be answered in the end of story.


	3. Secrets leave hanging

CHAPTER 1 -**Secrets leave hanging.**

_Two months earlier…_

It's been long time since Severide had nightmares. He used to think it was just a bad dream, and never really thought about them much.

The constant pain was his everyday demon he got used to fight with and everyone thought he was being temperament. To him, it was not only physically but emotionally draining. How many times had he been ignoring the pain pretending to be okay in front of audience after rescuing someone from a roof? He got everyone's attention turning to his wellbeing and persons he saved. Now when he finally rescued himself, his only pain was Renee the girl he once loved, and cared for.

Listening to his doctor's words about his back recovery, and seeing Clarice holding baby after giving birth he wondered would Renee want to take him back and be with him or not.

It was incredible how he missed her kisses, feeling her being with him, her mint breath on his skin, all wrapped around him with his hands in her sweet smelling hair or travelling to her back. No one had interrupted them that time in the closet they had been in, long before the crash. Long before things had changed forever.

That image was broken by the sound of siren in the firehouse. Reaching the site Severide wasted no time, already on the lead barking orders. They all became professionals rescuing a guy who had his right leg nearly impaled had scratches all over and was bleeding profusely. His left leg wasn't spared by wires which were jabbed in. The victim was pulled out eventually, as the road was covered with blood and filled with hysterical sobs. In the background a rogue man was dragged into the cop's car being ignored by the firehouse team.

"That needs to be ripped up and call paramedics for possible concussion," Severide said after inspecting the site of damaged car with unconscious guy in front seat, his head bleeding heavily.

"Bring that cutting saw over!"

Getting the saw, Casey and Severide started to pry the door open and within few seconds it was lifted away. They left victim to other paramedics while Shay and Gabriella attended to get the impaled guy in the ambulance. They had seen car accidents before but this incident was different. They often used cutting saw to get people out of their cars where they were stuck because of some accident but they had never seen such a drama to follow the crash. It should have been hit and run, but the person responsible came out of his car in fury. The wrecked car screeched to sidewalk which came to tires' halt. He went to them before they could even get their bearings, moved one passenger and had his leg impale with a pole along with wire wrapped around. The guy in front was lucky staying unconscious from concussion he got so the murderer spared him and tried to drive away before fire trucks reached the site.

As the case wrapped up, they returned to Firehouse and their chores but Severide couldn't help noticing Eric wasn't there. He wondered was he missing or simply avoiding him. Last time he saw him in the firehouse he did not come near thinking Eric needed some space after accusing him.

"How does it feel like having two arms to use again?"

Casey asked, interrupting his thoughts as Severide was hanging up his heavy jacket.

"For one, I feel like I'm reborn!" Severide joked. Casey laughed. "Want to come over to my place tonight?"

"Sure mate."

"Kelly, all goes well with Shay?" Casey continued.

"Why sudden interest in her? I can't remember last time you ask." Severide said in wonder.

"Hey, I'm just asking." Casey gave a quick smile. "That's what friends do. I've heard you make up."

"Yeah, I couldn't help be more excited. At least she's not ignoring me anymore."

They chat amiably walking down the open parking space.

"And... look who's coming?"

Hermann said out of blue. He walked down and Casey had to turn his head, as Severide's eyebrow rose up.

"Dang, Hermann, you're such a spoilt sport!"

Casey smirked and Severide giggled hearing the familiar voice greeted them unceremoniously.

"I so wanted to be like Hermann, giving surprise when he's here with a cane before. It shouldn't be that hard!" Antonio pretended to whine.

"You can ask Hermann for a tip." Severide said receiving Antonio's deadpanned look in return.

Hermann was laughing watching them from aside, but in the end he suggested to give Antonio some advices during dinner and they walked away together.

"I'm betting they're off to give someone else big surprise we fail to fall to," Severide said lightly, Casey joining in laughter.

At that moment Severide's phone rang.

Casey watched curiously how Severide tensed upon hearing some new on the phone. "Renee's awake?"

That was a crucial point for Severide's love life, he was going to meet her in the hospital.

Casey offered to drive him to the hospital and Severide couldn't reject him on spot. Saying his thanks and assuring Casey that he would call him when he needed a drive back he dashed to find the room Renee was in.

"Severide?"

He was greeted by Renee the moment he entered the room then Eric came into view with need to have a private talk written all over his face.

Severide gave Renee a quick smile. He didn't know what to say to her so he was slightly grateful Eric asked him to talk outside. "I'll be back soon."

Renee eyed Eric with strange look.

"You'd better not giving Severide hell or you have to deal with me."

"It's just a talk, Renee." He said calmly, "I won't do anything stupid. Promise."

"It's just a warning." replied Rene with a defeated look.

They went out of the room with door closed. Eric sniffed and fidgeted, as Severide wonder what he wanted to talk about.

"Renee… she isn't the same we knew anymore. Doctor said… she's suffering from short term amnesia."

Eric broke the ice in the air, clearing up questions in Severide's head. His voice was filled with emotions in check he had his eyes averted for a while, when contemplating what to say as Severide allowed information to sink in.

Severide was at loss of words for a moment. He bit his lip to control his emotions. However his eyes gave him away and Eric looked at him sympathetically, letting the silence fall in the room.

"How much she can remember?"

"She remembers you as her boyfriend but not her recent one so I didn't ask him over. 'M not having him around Renee for emotional distress."

"She remembers you as her boyfriend. Recent boyfriend." Eric's words surprised Severide. Severide couldn't help feeling uncomfortable, which was shown on his face as Eric noticed his look.

"I don't think it's right time for me to show up giving…"

"I'm not planning to have her hurt as it was enough drama for her, to take in more blows from both sides," snapped Eric, straightening his pose.

"What do you mean? Can you be a bit more specific?"

"Give me a moment. It's already bad enough I'm unable to find time to take a breather. It's not that I'm not hesitating because my sister is inside the room. I think, she's better off without him and without hurting herself as it's going to like history between you and Renee- no, her and her recent real boyfriend. I need your help, please-"

He did not finish his sentence when Severide interrupted him.

"Then I remind you, I'm staying out of this whether you like it or not."

"Renee doesn't really deserve to know she's going to be single after she mentioned you as her boyfriend."

Severide's mind screaming at him. He wished he could yell '_I can't be with her after having surgery on my neck while knowing she's with some other guy!' _But he kept his lips together with cold fury inside him, threatening to spill.

"You're asking for an impossible thing to do. How can you ask a goddamn person to go through this again? How much difference can it make, if I step up?" He spoke in hissing whisper.

"I rather to see you break news to her, so she can recollect memories. She needs you, she can't handle this on her own if find out she's no longer liking him in the end and she hates it. Shay did explain to me the truth but you come here, and it means you still love her?"

Eric dared to look into Severide's eyes, which had a glimpse of desperate hope in for a moment. Their voices weren't high as they were now exchanging words.

"You do. You won't be here for no reason, will you? You put me in your shoe turning your villain in your life. I'm speechless and have nothing to say, but I'm not going to think about that any more. Does Renee deserve to be alone? And I'm not asking you to be her replacement if you feel other way. I've learned not to choose side on love relationship and so should you do now. Hear me out, for once. I seriously don't like the idea she's going to face her boyfriend who doesn't know about you. I can't and won't imagine how she'll take the blow. I mean, I wasn't asking you to give her false hope."

Suddenly, Severide looked bewildered by the speech Eric made.

Eric slumped onto the chair with defeated look on his tired face. "I've no idea what I'm thinking about I'm just so frustrated I can't do anything."

Severide started to understand.

"Her boyfriend doesn't know about me?" Severide turned stunned, over the incredulity covered in his voice.

Eric shook his head. "I lie to him she is still in coma."

"After car crash he had learned about her old crush and he accepted it. But now with her thinking you're her one truly love, her skeletons will be out of closet as soon as he comes here. She just woke up, so I don't know will she be ready to meet him without getting angry. Imagine her memories come back, her boyfriend not talking to her… she's riddled in guilt... this drama, is not one person can live through as she deserved to love like she deserved to be loved."

Severide blinked, and nodded. "Thanks for heads up."

That conversation got Severide thinking.

His head was spinning as he thought about the chance he got now of all the time, as some cruel joke fate's playing on him. After Renee survived, she was in coma and his mind was reeling backward to past again; he visualizing himself sitting on the chair when he looked at Renee's contact in his iPhone. The same thing he did few days before while waiting for Clarice to give birth to her child.

_His Renee had someone else, was with someone else and he didn't know. It was still painful for him to think about her, about the moment he saw them together._

_He met Eric the day after he'd broken up with her and noticed the change of atmosphere immediately._

_"I thought you'll be with her? Are you responsible for the car crash?" Eric demanded, looking confused._

_"Whatever you think," he said tiredly in a bitter tone._

_"I am asking you question," Eric snapped._

_"Eric, I have nothing to say. Whatever you think it doesn't matter to me." Severide turned away from Eric._

_"What is so hard for you to tell? My sister loves you, you know, right?" Eric jibed, in way to provoke straight answer from Severide but he already saw it through._

_"I have nothing to say." said Severide coldly._

_"Then let me tell you something, her best friend is right there with her, waiting to attend her wedding!"_

_Severide did not hang around long enough to answer that._

Eric's words made him once again think about Renee and her boyfriends, the recent one and the one he saw her wondered what he and she would do the day that boyfriend man appear again. It was nagging him while he was walking back to Firehouse 51.

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**A/N**: Hello friends! Here's the chapter you just finish reading. ;) Don't forget to leave reviews below for suggestions, and comments! Thank you! :D


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